Partly Facetious: Malik to launch an attack on PML-N in English

"Rehman Malik has threatened PML (N) to stop the go Zardari go campaign or else."
"Or else what?"
"Or else, he will launch an attack on them in English."
"I am sorry."
"The guy speaks grammatically incorrect English and the accent is rather difficult to decipher even for us, the people of the sub-continent, who speak our own version of English."
"Don't be facetious."
"Can you understand him?"
"Well, let's say he is better than others."
"For example?"
"For example Chaudhry Jaat sahib!"
"Not fair comparison. First and foremost, Chaudhry Jaat does not speak in English, his audience is invariably the Gujratis or domestic politicians and he has never ever spoken in English in my living memory."
"I am sure that's not right. Wasn't the guy prime minister for a little while and our prime ministers do speak in English with foreign dignitaries?"
"Chaudhry Jaat did not address any foreign dignitary during his prime minister days. He was kept busy or shall I say unbusy by Musharraf."
"Oh, and what's your second point?"
"Chaudhry sahib's inarticulateness is not due to a life long political career but to the fact that he is not quite well."
"Oh I see. OK, but who has a good oratorical style?"
"The President has yet to perfect his style - he does stumble for words but I hear he is very good in small gatherings."
"Well, in small gatherings, for example, during a meeting of the Central Executive Committee of his party no one dares interrupt him or challenge what he is saying so he has more confidence and..."
"I don't agree - the President due to security concerns addresses small and select gatherings and not jalsas. So that is not true. Besides in jalsas you ensure that your supporters are in attendance not your detractors."
"Well, then I have to say the President doesn't have the practice to address large jalsas and the person responsible for this is Malik."
"Yeah, Malik and Awan - they seem to be the brunt of much criticism by both the Zardis in the CEC and the people without."
"But..."
"Join the Mirza club!"